


Uncommon Wonder

by TheDefenderoftheFaith



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Bruce is dead, Dick Grayson-centric, Dick needs to learn life lessons, Gen, Reflection, Self-Doubt, he is getting there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24445159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDefenderoftheFaith/pseuds/TheDefenderoftheFaith
Summary: Everyone had always talked about how confident he was. How stable and put-together, how he had his priorities so perfectly in line. And Dick had believed it. Right up until Robin became ex-Robin became ex-Robin #1. Enter Robin #2. And when Dick had been forced to change, time and time again from 'the only one' to 'the first one'... he realized he wasn't so confident after all.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Tim Drake
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Uncommon Wonder

Dick’s parents had always told him exactly why he was special. Because of who he was, that no matter what he did or was able to do, being himself was enough to be special. Was enough to… be enough. As Catholics, it had been that he, as one of God’s creations, in his image, automatically was a special person and unique and  _ worthy _ because of just that. 

But Dick had never  _ really _ needed it. He was Dick Grayson, Boy Wonder, that fearless daredevil who flew like a robin, night after night, to thunderous applause. And then he  _ was _ Robin, and the newspapers knew who he was and the people knew who he was and Batman was his partner and best friend. He was still special. 

There were other special people. There were the Teen Titans, other kid heroes like him. Speedy was even human. Out there in the world, there were people smarter than Dick, stronger, more skilled than he was. But there was always someone like that, and he didn’t really care. He still had his place in things.

So, he’d thought he was confident. He’d thought he was confident and self-assured right up until Robin became ex-Robin became ex-Robin #1. Enter Robin #2. 

And, suddenly, he wasn’t so special. Someone else could be Robin. Someone else could put on the R and fly out into the night and fight crime in Gotham as Batman’s partner even though he was just a little kid. 

And then Robin 3 was smarter than him, and led his own team of superheroes. And Dick wasn’t the only one to do that either. And he fought with a staff, maybe better than Dick, he didn’t want to think about it too much… 

And Dick was  _ happy _ about it. He was happy that he had little brothers who were surpassing him. That was a good thing. He had helped train them to be better, after all. And sometimes he really  _ felt _ happy too. 

And sometimes he didn’t. Sometimes Tim would do a triple twist with a spin that no one but Dick had done before and Dick would hear himself say: “Well, it took you a few years longer than me, but you did it! Great job, Timmy!” and regret it two seconds later, even if Tim looked nothing but happy. 

It was worse when someone else saw it. When Bruce was there and Tim was special like Dick had used to be unique and Bruce just stood there and watched as Dick went from ‘the only’ one to ‘the first’ one. And Dick would want to prove himself so badly, would want to get up there and say:  _ no, no, I’m still better, see what I can do _ ! 

And then he’d feel bad. And he’d want to apologize to Tim, but he didn’t, because maybe his feelings hadn’t been hurt but if Dick brought it up they would be. Or maybe Dick was being a coward. He didn’t know, and he didn’t want to think about that either. 

Sometimes he thought he was better, and thought-  _ hey, maybe I’m maturing maybe I’m past that _ ? And then he would imagine being normal. Working 9 to 5 and that being it. A normal, every day person with no particular skill or intelligence, just… doing what he could. And he would shudder from that thought. That terrible possibility of  _ ordinary _ . And he would know that he wasn’t past it. That he might have  _ reasoned  _ that he was supposed to be special just for  _ who he was _ … but he hadn’t accepted it. 

So here he was. With Damian. Without Bruce. Standing in the rain at a funeral he had never wanted to see. Watching his father being lowered into the ground and wondering… what next?

What next with Damian? 

He was raising him.

Not a brother but a… a something else. 

Would that make the difference? Would raising him really change anything - allow him to be fully happy when Damian passed him up? Or would it be the same? Worse?

Did the circumstances matter, or did Dick just have to find his priorities, get his head on straight? If he figured it out, and really accepted that he could be special and worth-as-much if he was normal as if he were… this… then that would have to solve his problems… wouldn’t it? 

He’d have to just be happy for Damian, and Tim and anyone else who could do him one better. 

Maybe he needed to learn that first and then apply it to Damian? Maybe Damian would teach him and he could move on from there? 

He didn’t have the answers. But he didn’t like where he was at. 

So he was going to find his answers. 

And he was going to fix himself, for himself, and for the people around him. 

He only wished he’d done it sooner. 


End file.
